Because You Have To

There are five steps to any unexpected situation – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.  It can be quite exhausting actually, especially since unexpected and life can almost be synonyms for each other. But we do go through the drill; we pretend, rant, negotiate, wallow and finally dust off, get up and move on. The last stage is usually for the lucky and strong ones. A lot of times, moving from wallowing to doing is a vacuum that cannot be navigated.

Perhaps because reaching the last stage of acceptance, implies change. It means looking at old things a new way or looking at new things altogether. It is a move away from the comfort zone and that’s a very uncomfortable change.

These are the phases when the post-it like profound statements screams out at you.  “Change is inevitable”, “change is the only constant”, “everything happens for a reason”, “in the end it will work out”, “if it’s not happy it’s not the end” – the list is long, monotonous and probably the ray of hope to cling on to. Clichés became clichés because the work – another profound statement I recent heard.

But where does one get the strength to change everything from? How do you do something as simple as just put one foot in front of the other so as to take that step forward? This is especially true when the task ahead is daunting, arduous and evidently time-consuming.  I think it comes from ensuring that you get the strength from deep within who you used to be before life changed. You get it from the dreams you dreamed as a child. From the person you knew you wanted to be.

 You move away from comfort by realizing that sometimes, you don’t even know that you are uncomfortable – the discomfort is such a part of who you have become.  You do it so that you can look yourself in the eye and know that you are not living a compromised life. You may not be living the ideal till long after you move, but knowing that you are walking to somewhere and not running to anywhere can be a big motivation to lift that foot and just step, breathe, and step again.

Hum Of The Day

Change, is constant but never easy to live with. My constant struggle with it is evident by how often I have written about it. But like an old t-shirt that is tattered, torn, shabby but comfortable, at some point you just have to throw away the old. For no reason but because you have to – the childhood blanket gave way to a teddy bear which gave way to something else. Each new comfort was at the price of an old. That’s just the way it has to be.