Time and again I have heard the above phrase “It’s all in the mind” – and I am starting to find it increasingly frustrating. Because, if it is all in MY mind and assuming that my mind actually belongs to me, then I should be able to control it. And if the assumption is that we do indeed control our own minds, and then I must be a raving lunatic to be consciously – or even unconsciously – allowing my own mind to think, feel and make me act a certain way which I myself do not like. It therefore means, I am insane because I let myself be insane?
The human mind is weird. Or actually, I am increasingly starting to believe that the expectation of rationality from the mind – because the mind is supposedly the “thinking” part of us – in itself is irrational. There is absolutely nothing rational about the thoughts, feelings and emotions that drive or mind. We like to believe its logic – but pure logic seldom exists. If it did, well, life would be very different from what it really is. So even when logic says that I should be keeping a brave face, that I should be strong what actually drives me to implement that is illogical thoughts like “time will take care of the changes I am looking to happen and that somehow life will fall into place one day”. Logic says that I should have no expectations from another person regarding my life – but my mind itself does not seem to process how not to have expectations from people I care about. Logic says that it’s actually logical for each one to live their own life – the human side of the capitalist theory perhaps – but who really manages to implement that? If my mind is being driven but the irrationality that makes me human, how can I expect the mind to reach a rational conclusion? How do I stop it from thinking, feeling, acting a certain way?
Our mind also conjures up an image of who we believe we are and how we see ourselves. This unfortunately drives how we assume others see us. And then there is that tricky line of how we want others to see us. Somehow, all three blur in together. We see ourselves a certain way – which includes attributes we do not want – and we like to believe that our external behavior deludes others into seeing the person we want to portray. But somewhere, I believe, because we do not inherently have what we want to showcase, we never believe anyone can see it. Hence, we perpetuate our own negative self-image at times because the act of acting can make people do strange things. See – nothing logical about anything the mind seems to actually do.
But I wonder – why do we have this obsession with wanting to be logical? Because that makes us predictable perhaps or perhaps because we have been conditioned to belief that the most logical thing to do is the ideal thing to do?
The other day, in an argument, I happened to mention that I am not logical and I don’t want to be – and I got the response that “you are a woman”! Yes, you may smile, I did too – but here is some food for thought. If all of us were logical, what kind of a life would we lead? When the happiest parts of life and the attributes of human nature and life come from the irrational, the illogical and the craziest of emotions – then why is it that we take pride in logic and mock a lack of it? Why is it not ok to be thinking, feeling and emotional person? I cannot imagine anyone who is completely devoid of what we call “logic decision making” which is really “the most appropriate course of action”.
But, why is there such little respect for the fact that the most appropriate is rarely robotic, harsh or calculated. It usually factors in illogical things like human emotions, what’s best for everyone involved etc. Perhaps the word logic intuitively gives us a feigned sense of control. It’s all in the mind after all – we can trick it into thinking what we want right?
The other day, in an argument, I happened to mention that I am not logical and I don’t want to be – and I got the response that “you are a woman”! Yes, you may smile, I did too – but here is some food for thought. If all of us were logical, what kind of a life would we lead? When the happiest parts of life and the attributes of human nature and life come from the irrational, the illogical and the craziest of emotions – then why is it that we take pride in logic and mock a lack of it? Why is it not ok to be thinking, feeling and emotional person? I cannot imagine anyone who is completely devoid of what we call “logic decision making” which is really “the most appropriate course of action”.
But, why is there such little respect for the fact that the most appropriate is rarely robotic, harsh or calculated. It usually factors in illogical things like human emotions, what’s best for everyone involved etc. Perhaps the word logic intuitively gives us a feigned sense of control. It’s all in the mind after all – we can trick it into thinking what we want right?
Hum of the day
Numb is not a state of happiness, neither is apathy and nor is harshness. We respect and remember the nice, the happy, the joyful and the lively. The process of growing up has forced me to develop the traits I do not like – in order to survive. And somewhere, I gave up on the rest. I no longer want one way or the other. And if it is a choice, I will gladly choose to be opinionated, emotional and sensitive. I may need to recondition my own thinking and respect for what I want to choose – but I believe I will learn to live again. It’s the logical thing to do.
