I went and saw Aamir on Saturday. And for the past half an hour I have been trying to write about it and have been trying to frame my thoughts. And it is not working. Perhaps because the movie is a one of such stark contrasts – of goodness and loyalty; of destruction and betrayal and of fear and survival- that I do not know what to really think. So I am choosing not to. I am instead going to focus on what I felt while watching it.
It was scary in a very real sense. The protagonist is part of the present generation - capitalist and ready to carve his niche in the world. He believes that his decisions control his life and that his destiny is what he makes of it. He believes that every single individual not matter how destitute, always has an option to chose paths and to create the life they believe is best for them. And he believes that it is not anyone’s place to do that job for another individual.
Do I agree completely? I am not sure. I am one of those who believe that while the broad and basic aspects of life are predetermined, how and when we get there is something we control. So while I may be destined to be doing something, how easy or painful that journey is, depends on the choices I make- and that includes my attitude as well as my actions. I also firmly believe that not everyone has the same choices, but then benchmarks are unequal as well so on some level that balances out and allows each person to move one step up from where they are.
When Aamirs’ life is no longer controlled by him, his sense of desperation is what had me at the edge of my seat. To be governed by someone else, to not know why you are doing what you are doing and to have no idea about the ultimate aim of it all is too uncomfortable to even fathom. Yet, here it was in front of me. One person, one day and complete upheaval of his existence – that’s what I call reality bites!
It got me thinking – in a sense there are a lot of times when I believe that my life and destiny are not really in my hand, I know I rarely know why things happen and all I really do is have faith that its all happening for a reason which is completely unknown to me.
But then the movies’ clincher is what really touched my heart – you do always have a choice. And just like it is believes that a bad apple cannot be turned good, it was really heartening to see that vice-versa works as well. In crises, in madness – it may be possible to actually get a glimpse of the big picture - all it takes is a split second of a nirvana moment. The core of your beliefs and what you know to be right and wrong can actually surface despite all odds and irrespective of consequences. Perhaps that’s what destiny is. It provides that nirvana moment. Recognizing it is where your choice comes in.
Hum of the day
Life is choices. Perhaps the biggest choice is whether or not we want to recognize this.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Paint a Picture
A star right here
The moon up there
Distant beauty
Unknown and rare
Balls of energy
In different shapes
Look too close
The smile will fade
Paint a picture
Step back and see
The color you gave it
Together in totality
The heart can wander the mind can see
The mind can examine, the heart will beat
Perspective and perception
Beauty and direction
Observe, listen, feel
Make a decision.
Positivism and negativity are just concepts. We choose to see the smaller bits but forget to piece them together. Start counting the things in your life which you should be thankful for. I did that today.
I’m grateful for an education, for a family to take care of my needs so I can work for the intellectual (and financial) high that it gives me. For the fact that I am in an environment that intellectually stimulates me enough to have a need to prove myself and work harder- cannot imagine the boredom associated with not having to do that anymore.
I am grateful for friends who trust me enough to remember to call me in their time of need. Even more so for those who complain when I sometime neglect to do the same when I need them. I am blessed for a family that cares enough to want to know about the details of each boring day and to want to advise me as to how it can get better. For a cell phone and mobile connection to connect with people I cannot meet for months together. For friends and family that take me for granted.
I am blessed. I just forget to take a deep breath and put it all together. That’s the difference - it’s half empty when it’s in pieces…together, it a pretty picture that makes me bow in gratitude.
Hum of the day
Life is like needlework. Sowing is just the means- simultaneously enjoyable and arduous. The picture fortunately began pretty and, is always visible for you to see. Just take a glance.
The moon up there
Distant beauty
Unknown and rare
Balls of energy
In different shapes
Look too close
The smile will fade
Paint a picture
Step back and see
The color you gave it
Together in totality
The heart can wander the mind can see
The mind can examine, the heart will beat
Perspective and perception
Beauty and direction
Observe, listen, feel
Make a decision.
Positivism and negativity are just concepts. We choose to see the smaller bits but forget to piece them together. Start counting the things in your life which you should be thankful for. I did that today.
I’m grateful for an education, for a family to take care of my needs so I can work for the intellectual (and financial) high that it gives me. For the fact that I am in an environment that intellectually stimulates me enough to have a need to prove myself and work harder- cannot imagine the boredom associated with not having to do that anymore.
I am grateful for friends who trust me enough to remember to call me in their time of need. Even more so for those who complain when I sometime neglect to do the same when I need them. I am blessed for a family that cares enough to want to know about the details of each boring day and to want to advise me as to how it can get better. For a cell phone and mobile connection to connect with people I cannot meet for months together. For friends and family that take me for granted.
I am blessed. I just forget to take a deep breath and put it all together. That’s the difference - it’s half empty when it’s in pieces…together, it a pretty picture that makes me bow in gratitude.
Hum of the day
Life is like needlework. Sowing is just the means- simultaneously enjoyable and arduous. The picture fortunately began pretty and, is always visible for you to see. Just take a glance.
Professionally Personal
Sab neeji hai. That’s my favorite line from Sarkar Raj. Another on exactly the same note is the scene from You’ve Got Mail where Meg Ryan asks Tom Hanks (more or less verbatim) - “why do people always say it’s not personal. All that it means is that it’s not personal to you. It’s personal to someone else. It’s always personal”
Yet, we spend about 80% of our waking hours in an attempt to be professional. Ironic is it not? My company is going through a restructuring whereby new groups are being formed; people are being given options to change teams etc. And that has really got me thinking; because, it’s got me involuntarily hearing. The term competitive corporate world meant little to me for most of my 3 years of being a part of it. Maybe I was just shielded or I chose to turn a blind eye. But this time around, the competition is in my face. I am seeing people at all levels, junior and senior, proving a point, getting their voice heard and showing the next person down (across levels again) – with little regard of the impact it may be having on the other person.
Professional seems to have a new definition. It means knowing what to say, to whom to say it and how to say it; whom to cc and whom to bcc. What to give a verbal response to (and retract later) and what to take in writing. It’s about remembering the right things and of course recognizing what can be utilized at a later stage. It’s all about impressions. I have seen people around me pass other people work off as their own under the guise of helping, of people talking behind the backs of those I thought were friends - seniors bickering and egos clashing. And all I can think is – what of all this behavior is professional.
I may come from a very naive train of though but professional to me meant doing a good honest job- the best job you can do and as per the standards set by the organization. That’s it. That’s where the professional part of work ends. Everything else is just personal.
And what is wrong with that. We are all individuals working. Each one has their own personal reasons for doing the job they are doing. The job has a different meaning for every person – for one it is about proving to be a success, for another, it is money in the bank, and for the third it is just a way to pass their day. And these different agendas must produce a cohesive harmonious work environment. When a job is of personal significance, how can one be detached about it? But then, if that is the case, then a job is more than just a job. And all should not be fair in love and war right? Maybe that’s why it is not. There are lines that should not be crossed. Funny how they have begun to be drawn in chalk.
Hum of the day
The core of what we believe in is blurring under survival tactics. Does anything that’s really fit survive after the tussle? The ability and option to make choices each day thankfully ensure that that decision is not yet made.
Yet, we spend about 80% of our waking hours in an attempt to be professional. Ironic is it not? My company is going through a restructuring whereby new groups are being formed; people are being given options to change teams etc. And that has really got me thinking; because, it’s got me involuntarily hearing. The term competitive corporate world meant little to me for most of my 3 years of being a part of it. Maybe I was just shielded or I chose to turn a blind eye. But this time around, the competition is in my face. I am seeing people at all levels, junior and senior, proving a point, getting their voice heard and showing the next person down (across levels again) – with little regard of the impact it may be having on the other person.
Professional seems to have a new definition. It means knowing what to say, to whom to say it and how to say it; whom to cc and whom to bcc. What to give a verbal response to (and retract later) and what to take in writing. It’s about remembering the right things and of course recognizing what can be utilized at a later stage. It’s all about impressions. I have seen people around me pass other people work off as their own under the guise of helping, of people talking behind the backs of those I thought were friends - seniors bickering and egos clashing. And all I can think is – what of all this behavior is professional.
I may come from a very naive train of though but professional to me meant doing a good honest job- the best job you can do and as per the standards set by the organization. That’s it. That’s where the professional part of work ends. Everything else is just personal.
And what is wrong with that. We are all individuals working. Each one has their own personal reasons for doing the job they are doing. The job has a different meaning for every person – for one it is about proving to be a success, for another, it is money in the bank, and for the third it is just a way to pass their day. And these different agendas must produce a cohesive harmonious work environment. When a job is of personal significance, how can one be detached about it? But then, if that is the case, then a job is more than just a job. And all should not be fair in love and war right? Maybe that’s why it is not. There are lines that should not be crossed. Funny how they have begun to be drawn in chalk.
Hum of the day
The core of what we believe in is blurring under survival tactics. Does anything that’s really fit survive after the tussle? The ability and option to make choices each day thankfully ensure that that decision is not yet made.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Rain Rain Come Again
Monsoons are my spring. There is something about moisture in the air, wet sand and grass and water - lots of it and everywhere. No I do not live in some fantasy world - I do know that water everywhere in reality is murky water logged mucky roads causing hour long traffic jams, muddy shoes and irritable temperaments. But to me- its my spring. It just makes me happy. Despite all the mess.
I may be romanticising it a bit here but to me rains seem to just wash away the past. Its a time for fresh beginnings. The unwanted things that have been conveniently pushed below the surface make an appearance. And when they do- eventually they will be cleaned up. Its like a concept I learnt at AOL- in order for something to bid you goodbye it has to first enter your life and say hi.
We conveniently ignore some things- the baggage piling up in our lives, those cupboards waiting to be sorted, calls waiting to be made, goodbye waiting to be said. And somehow its often not actually finishing these things that is a problem - its the process of beginning the end. Once you take that first step, once that cupboard is emptied- it will be sorted- eventually.
Feng Sui talks of the concept of de-cluttering. How if one aspect of life is clutters, its sort of permeates other aspects. So according to that, messy draws, purses and cupboards are bad news in general from a life perspective. And i usually try and follow that. I'm weird that way. Or then again. Maybe i just try to make sure my life has its regular monsoon- so I can enjoy the simple things without sighing at what surfaces.
Hum of the day
Simple pleasures. The first rain. Sound of raindrops. Children playing with abandon. Laughter from the heart. Monsoons were the most pleasant childhood memories- gum boots, splashing in puddles, sliding down a hill. The smell of monsoon air brings it all back. My childhood returns - it makes me smile.
I may be romanticising it a bit here but to me rains seem to just wash away the past. Its a time for fresh beginnings. The unwanted things that have been conveniently pushed below the surface make an appearance. And when they do- eventually they will be cleaned up. Its like a concept I learnt at AOL- in order for something to bid you goodbye it has to first enter your life and say hi.
We conveniently ignore some things- the baggage piling up in our lives, those cupboards waiting to be sorted, calls waiting to be made, goodbye waiting to be said. And somehow its often not actually finishing these things that is a problem - its the process of beginning the end. Once you take that first step, once that cupboard is emptied- it will be sorted- eventually.
Feng Sui talks of the concept of de-cluttering. How if one aspect of life is clutters, its sort of permeates other aspects. So according to that, messy draws, purses and cupboards are bad news in general from a life perspective. And i usually try and follow that. I'm weird that way. Or then again. Maybe i just try to make sure my life has its regular monsoon- so I can enjoy the simple things without sighing at what surfaces.
Hum of the day
Simple pleasures. The first rain. Sound of raindrops. Children playing with abandon. Laughter from the heart. Monsoons were the most pleasant childhood memories- gum boots, splashing in puddles, sliding down a hill. The smell of monsoon air brings it all back. My childhood returns - it makes me smile.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Lights , camera, action - if only
Words used to come easy to me. Conversational words and most importantly, written words. Off late this has changed. I seem to have run out of things to say. I used to think. About people around me, about what i saw, about what people i knew were going through. In short, I used to think about life- not just my own. But somewhere i seem to have got caught up in my own existence I find my thoughts increasingly preoccupied with myself, my work - my life. And i do not like this change in me.
Yes my job is becoming more demanding; yes I have little room to think in the day, but is that not a choice. I used to consider myself a sort of maverick- someone who could live by my own rules even in a world of madness. But it seems I have surprised myself. In an effort to settle down in a new environment I seem to have lost something - something that made up the essence of me. Then again, if it was so easy to give up maybe it was not the essence of me at all.
I find that thinking seems to get me nowhere. There seems to be so little i can really control. And no matter what i keep saying, the need to control seems to be deeply embedded - in me and in everyone around me.
We control - or we try to control- our lives, professional and personal through a combination fo our thoughts and actions. Its usually our actions. But sometimes, that stray thought you had will come true- that phone will ring, that beep will sound, that email will come- which will be just the person you randomly remembered. These i think are reminders- to restore our faith that, through the madness around, someone is listening- and sometimes, just when you need it most, he will give you that beep to let you know he is listening.
The problem is we try to direct that - to pray, to ask to plead. And that’s, ok. Because if you don’t know what you want, you will not get it. And while going with the flow is fine, a general direction, a decision to cross that rock, to split into those tributaries, to explore that new lane- those decisions lie with us. And knowing that they do, somehow, gives me strength. The strength to keep trying, to keep making those decisions, to attempt to do my bit to give shape to my life. To try and get the life I want.
I look back at a lot of things feeling foolish, but i do not look back wishing I had tried. I thought a direction was right, I thought my life would shape a certain way. While trying, decisions were taken that changed the course. I made more decisions. I keep trying. We all do. Clichés make the world. Clichés give hope. Perhaps hope is the biggest cliché.
Hum of the day
We may be the director of the movie of our lives, but we keep forgetting, it’s being produced by someone else. And we can argue to have our way and we can chose to make things difficult for ourselves, in the end, what the producer believes will yield results is what will be shown. Lucky for us, the producer of life is never wrong.
Yes my job is becoming more demanding; yes I have little room to think in the day, but is that not a choice. I used to consider myself a sort of maverick- someone who could live by my own rules even in a world of madness. But it seems I have surprised myself. In an effort to settle down in a new environment I seem to have lost something - something that made up the essence of me. Then again, if it was so easy to give up maybe it was not the essence of me at all.
I find that thinking seems to get me nowhere. There seems to be so little i can really control. And no matter what i keep saying, the need to control seems to be deeply embedded - in me and in everyone around me.
We control - or we try to control- our lives, professional and personal through a combination fo our thoughts and actions. Its usually our actions. But sometimes, that stray thought you had will come true- that phone will ring, that beep will sound, that email will come- which will be just the person you randomly remembered. These i think are reminders- to restore our faith that, through the madness around, someone is listening- and sometimes, just when you need it most, he will give you that beep to let you know he is listening.
The problem is we try to direct that - to pray, to ask to plead. And that’s, ok. Because if you don’t know what you want, you will not get it. And while going with the flow is fine, a general direction, a decision to cross that rock, to split into those tributaries, to explore that new lane- those decisions lie with us. And knowing that they do, somehow, gives me strength. The strength to keep trying, to keep making those decisions, to attempt to do my bit to give shape to my life. To try and get the life I want.
I look back at a lot of things feeling foolish, but i do not look back wishing I had tried. I thought a direction was right, I thought my life would shape a certain way. While trying, decisions were taken that changed the course. I made more decisions. I keep trying. We all do. Clichés make the world. Clichés give hope. Perhaps hope is the biggest cliché.
Hum of the day
We may be the director of the movie of our lives, but we keep forgetting, it’s being produced by someone else. And we can argue to have our way and we can chose to make things difficult for ourselves, in the end, what the producer believes will yield results is what will be shown. Lucky for us, the producer of life is never wrong.
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