Often, I have given touted the importance of “being comfortable in your own skin”. But, off late, it is gaining a new significance. Back when I was about 23, I recall reading somewhere about how this age group – 20 to 30 – is one of unending change and that with each year you add on, you will change in ways that even you can’t exactly comprehend. I absorbed the words but never really paid any attention. But today, when I have crossed the big 30 mark, I wish that I had paid more heed. And I don’t say this because of the significance of that age, I say this because paying heed to one’s life changes, internal and external, becomes about survival of sanity.
When I was younger, I dreamt some dreams, I saw a certain life, and I thought I was a certain person. As I kept adding on experience, somewhere, life and circumstances required changes. I may have gone with the flow and embraced those changes, but somewhere, I forgot to acknowledge what had changed in my core. As a consequence, unknowingly, I became uncomfortable in my own skin. Because my mind believed I wanted something, but my life and core, had gone ahead and shifted.
I see myself, and so many friends, struggling with the changes that life is putting before us all- changes in all forms, shapes and sizes. Some changes have been by choice, some by chance and some by force. But the result is the same – a shift of core circumstances.
Accepting this for the world is one thing, but like my father always tells me - end of the day, you answer only to yourself, that’s the one set of eyes and heart that cannot be fooled and simultaneously allow you to have a good night’s sleep.
Our circle, whatever and whomever that comprises of, is a major influence in both changes and change acceptance. That’s where it becomes vital for your own skin to fit you well. That skin which knows your core, that skin which knows your insecurities that know how desperate you feel that you cannot control the way life is taking you or where it is taking you. That skin needs to know that you will look after it and understand it. That even if it’s just you, only you, you will be ok because you both fit well together. You are comfortable by yourself, with whom you were, are and are going to become. Only then, will life allow you down a path that you can walk fearlessly – because you are enough for you. A hand to hold, a hand on you head and laughter by your side is always welcome, required and even craved for. But even without, you with you – that’s ok too.
Hum of the day
Relationships carve our lives, shape who we are and often guide where we go and even where we want to go. But I have been wondering why, in the maintenance of so many relationships, we lose connect with who we are. It’s almost like saying I want to stitch a beautiful scarf but ooops, I forgot to tie the first knot strong enough. Pretty silly huh?
