Monday, March 5, 2012

Finding My Peace, Accepting My Home

They say home is where the heart is. Well about two months ago I took a decision to follow my heart and now, after a year of a long distance marriage, here I am – home.

Life has come to a full circle for me, yet it has stood absolutely still. But oddly enough, this year, while apparently futile, has had an impact in ways that I am still trying to understand. 

As enumerated extensively in my previous ranting, change and I have never been good friends. And my compulsive need to strive for the perfect situation just adds to my angst because in times of uncertainty (and otherwise I now realise) those neat packages are an oasis.

For a long time, I had a sense of unease. That something was missing. I spent a lot of time questioning every aspect of my life – career, marriage, long term goals and lofty things like meaning of life, what I need to be happy, etc – the list was long and endless.  Then I chose to dramatically defy the obvious flow of my life and move myself hoping that cosmic forces would relent to my perseverance. They instead chose to teach me the things i needed to know the most – I call it my seven step peace guide.

  1. Life has its flow and yet, we have the power to change that flow. The caveat is that we have to live with the implications of that change.
  2. The change of flow happens only for you. So all other events related to everyone in your life stay the same – leading to a weird, tumultuous life
  3. The way you have envisaged life is not the ideal
  4. When life forces decisions on you, it also gives you the power to open your eyes to whole new possibilities
  5. You have to develop your ability to accept new possibilities on your own – no help available from any forces
  6. Uncertainty or possibilities – the choice is your own. As a child you chose possibilities. As an adult – choose wisely again
  7. All pieces of life never ever fall in place at the same time. The process is a slow step-by-step one. But for anything to fall in place, you have to fix one move, take one step and make that a pivot for other steps to follow


Hum Of The Day:
There has been a change within me. A shift towards peace, towards acceptance and towards freedom – freedom to dream new dreams, to take on a new course of life, to explore options I never knew existed. To reignite the childlike happiness in the fact that life is what I make it. I have the power back – and I will slowly unleash my dreams one day at a time.

1 comment:

Gauri said...

For one you need to update your blogger profile which erroneously says you are 20 something ;) lol !. Secondly am I glad that you are back in this blogging space? Oh yes ! And more importantly that your writing always strikes a chord deep within which makes reading of your blog posts so much of a experiential thing for me. For someone sailing in the same boat as you, I hope that what we see right now are mere "disconnected dots" and when we look back in life we see these dots weave a beautiful pattern which will make us smile with a sense of fulfillment. Cause I really feel nothing else really matters :) Good luck girl !