I have never been into cricket. But having been married to a man who loves the game enough to follow almost all matches on a website no matter where he is, I have started to understand the game as well – and today I am so glad that I changed my stance on the game.
I am sitting in Bombay while my husband is in Kuwait and I completely enjoyed watching the match with him for company. I allowed myself to be enthusiastic and cheer and groan – and effectively used technology to communicate the same (messengers like whatsapp are a blessing!). And watching the match today, has unleashed something in me.
After a really long time, here I was, with my family, my nieces, my sister, brother in-law and mom, on a hot hot weekday, sitting at home watching India beat Pakistan. The match was one part, the really pathetic jokes we cracked, the random laughter, the lightness the day has brought to me is indescribably in so many ways.
I laughed. For silly reasons. I smiled, for no reason. And just like that. I found my way back home – finally.
Hum of the day
Sport is powerful. Perhaps the passion, sense of belonging and need to cheer something on is what gives it that power. I want to turn life into sport.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Live and let live
“Live and Let Live” – a phrase that is simple, profound and perhaps one of the easiest life philosophies to tout while being among the most difficult to implement. I am actually beginning to wonder if it ever happens - unless the person you are letting live, is of no significance to you whatsoever. That then, defeats the true meaning of the statement.
I used to believe that the concept was close to my heart, but off-late, I find myself discovering new facets about myself – or perhaps I am learning to recognize and acknowledge the facets that were always there but I never liked. And that’s when I start to wonder, why these concepts which are esoteric and impractical to implement, were created to begin with. Maybe, their only aim is to be a goal by themselves, something similar to aiming for stars just to make sure you don’t end up with dust!
To live and let live, the fundamental requirement is to live yourself. Now that is possible only if the people around you, give you that freedom to live your life the way you want. Yes, they will have opinions, yes they will disagree, but as long as you can live and make your own decisions without any second guessing for opinions and ideas, only then, are you living yourself. After you achieve this, then you can think of letting another live.
Do you see where I am going with this? It’s a circular loop. You need to live to let others live and you need others to let you live in order to live. A fundamental fallacy!
Reality is opinionated interactions, judgments – on lifestyle, on thoughts, on ideas. And to add to this, usually, if it’s a close relationship, it often involves a need to change the above in the other person. So you want the other one to live, but on terms you are comfortable with, probably in the hope that if they do the same, you will be allowed to live. It’s all crazy and circular.
Acceptance is perhaps an easier path. And acceptance requires a fundamental understanding of the difference between acceptance and compromise. Acceptance is seeing that the other person has a point, which makes sense, given the way that person is and it means being able to respect that point and realize that no matter how close you are, you are individuals delineated at a fundamental level. Compromise on the other hand brings bitterness and a sense that you would have liked better, but the other person has a limit and not all can be changed.
I wish acceptance was easy. It comes only with a deep understanding and an intuitive sense of stability about oneself. But I like the fact that it comes with time. That slowly, seeing another person’s perspective is not so difficult. You just need to clear up the clutter in your own. It really is a chicken and egg situation but one does not necessarily need to debate which needs to come first. Be the chicken or be the egg the ultimate result is the same.
Hum of the Day
Making the first move is never easy – especially when there is no race to be won. Results are not always palpable but it’s not the moved mountain that matters, but the intention and action towards making that move that often works the wonders you are looking for. Understanding is potent, mix it up with compassion and empathy and enjoy the heady cocktail of human relationships.
I used to believe that the concept was close to my heart, but off-late, I find myself discovering new facets about myself – or perhaps I am learning to recognize and acknowledge the facets that were always there but I never liked. And that’s when I start to wonder, why these concepts which are esoteric and impractical to implement, were created to begin with. Maybe, their only aim is to be a goal by themselves, something similar to aiming for stars just to make sure you don’t end up with dust!
To live and let live, the fundamental requirement is to live yourself. Now that is possible only if the people around you, give you that freedom to live your life the way you want. Yes, they will have opinions, yes they will disagree, but as long as you can live and make your own decisions without any second guessing for opinions and ideas, only then, are you living yourself. After you achieve this, then you can think of letting another live.
Do you see where I am going with this? It’s a circular loop. You need to live to let others live and you need others to let you live in order to live. A fundamental fallacy!
Reality is opinionated interactions, judgments – on lifestyle, on thoughts, on ideas. And to add to this, usually, if it’s a close relationship, it often involves a need to change the above in the other person. So you want the other one to live, but on terms you are comfortable with, probably in the hope that if they do the same, you will be allowed to live. It’s all crazy and circular.
Acceptance is perhaps an easier path. And acceptance requires a fundamental understanding of the difference between acceptance and compromise. Acceptance is seeing that the other person has a point, which makes sense, given the way that person is and it means being able to respect that point and realize that no matter how close you are, you are individuals delineated at a fundamental level. Compromise on the other hand brings bitterness and a sense that you would have liked better, but the other person has a limit and not all can be changed.
I wish acceptance was easy. It comes only with a deep understanding and an intuitive sense of stability about oneself. But I like the fact that it comes with time. That slowly, seeing another person’s perspective is not so difficult. You just need to clear up the clutter in your own. It really is a chicken and egg situation but one does not necessarily need to debate which needs to come first. Be the chicken or be the egg the ultimate result is the same.
Hum of the Day
Making the first move is never easy – especially when there is no race to be won. Results are not always palpable but it’s not the moved mountain that matters, but the intention and action towards making that move that often works the wonders you are looking for. Understanding is potent, mix it up with compassion and empathy and enjoy the heady cocktail of human relationships.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Going the distance
“Even an infant needs to cry in order to get its food” - A passing observation by my mother when my new-born niece was bawling because she was hungry. Simple, but profoundly true! Beginning with our basic need for food, a living being needs to make their presence felt, and vociferously voice what he/she believes is a birth right and essential for survival. It’s then a little wonder that for the rest of our lives, life really feels like we need to consistently find that next thing to make noise about!
Set goals, decide what you want and go get it. This is probably the most rudimentary tenet most of us have heard. The underlying premise is that at any point, there needs to be a goal and that that very goal needs to be met and a sense of achievement needs to follow. When that’s done, move on to the next one.
I was thinking about the above stuff when I read this beautiful and insightful article on the concept of “Enough”. It talks about how, we are all hankering for more, and that while needs are fulfilled, greed rarely is. Yet, the concept of just living, aimlessly, is elusive to most, a dream to some and perhaps pointless to some.
I think I am slowly drifting towards that last category. Having been on a “career break” for about 4 months now, I began the stint with the blissful aim of being aimless. Today, all I want is to figure out an aim and to achieve it.
For the longest time in my life, I used to plan everything – and usually my plans have been based on best case scenarios and on what I believe is most appropriate and practical. Today, I just plan simple things - for tomorrow I will eat only one sweet thing, I will walk at least 20 minutes etc. And then I achieve that, and I feel I am again worthy of a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, when I achieve the above, it may still have its charm, but I am assuming that 10 days later, I will want to aim higher.
The concept of going the distance used to mean something else to mean. It meant big things, big plans and magnificent dreams. Today on the other hand, it’s simple things. Makes me wonder if I have become too cynical! My husband’s most motivational line is “Because we dream so we do”. For me, I just want to think less, plan small and achieve what I can. Perhaps that will give me the strength to look at longer distances and cross those boundaries as well.
Hum of the day
I planned to live a life; I lived the life in my head. Implementation needed changes; I needed comfort of the known. The known can be uneasy, the unknown brings in hope. I’m still using training wheels to teach me to slowly live that life I dreamt of. I know that if I can just take small steps, my dreams and reality may just intersect.
Set goals, decide what you want and go get it. This is probably the most rudimentary tenet most of us have heard. The underlying premise is that at any point, there needs to be a goal and that that very goal needs to be met and a sense of achievement needs to follow. When that’s done, move on to the next one.
I was thinking about the above stuff when I read this beautiful and insightful article on the concept of “Enough”. It talks about how, we are all hankering for more, and that while needs are fulfilled, greed rarely is. Yet, the concept of just living, aimlessly, is elusive to most, a dream to some and perhaps pointless to some.
I think I am slowly drifting towards that last category. Having been on a “career break” for about 4 months now, I began the stint with the blissful aim of being aimless. Today, all I want is to figure out an aim and to achieve it.
For the longest time in my life, I used to plan everything – and usually my plans have been based on best case scenarios and on what I believe is most appropriate and practical. Today, I just plan simple things - for tomorrow I will eat only one sweet thing, I will walk at least 20 minutes etc. And then I achieve that, and I feel I am again worthy of a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, when I achieve the above, it may still have its charm, but I am assuming that 10 days later, I will want to aim higher.
The concept of going the distance used to mean something else to mean. It meant big things, big plans and magnificent dreams. Today on the other hand, it’s simple things. Makes me wonder if I have become too cynical! My husband’s most motivational line is “Because we dream so we do”. For me, I just want to think less, plan small and achieve what I can. Perhaps that will give me the strength to look at longer distances and cross those boundaries as well.
Hum of the day
I planned to live a life; I lived the life in my head. Implementation needed changes; I needed comfort of the known. The known can be uneasy, the unknown brings in hope. I’m still using training wheels to teach me to slowly live that life I dreamt of. I know that if I can just take small steps, my dreams and reality may just intersect.
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