Tag a memory

Gauri “TAGGED” me to answer a set of questions about my life. Simple and sweet stuff on the lines of favorite smell, favorite board game etc the very basic personal information. It was a Tuesday afternoon and ennui was all around so I opened it up and started filling it out. I had fun doing it – for two reasons – first, it was fun to think of answers and some questions brought back memories that made me just smile. The second was because it gave me something to think about (I did mention extreme boredom did I not?).

What struck me is that I have never really thought about these things earlier. And that made me realize that I have never discussed some aspects of my life with anyone- not even my closest friends. And that strikes me as weird. I know I have always been a very personal person but that has to have its limits. And it’s never been a conscious decision not to talk of these things. It just never came up. But then just because the question is not asked, does that mean there is no need to volunteer information at all?

On of my favorite TV shows is this children’s show called Full House where Michele’s (a 3 year old) answer to most things is – nobody asked me. But there are too many questions in this world and no one will be able to ask them all. There are some things you have to proactively volunteer.

And it’s so important to relive the untouched parts of our lives- the un-discussed ones. Because good memories make u smile and unpleasant ones have the power to reassure you that if you could get past that, you have the strength to face what lies ahead. I think somewhere life has taught us to just move ahead. To stop looking back because the belief is that looking back ties you down. But in order to decide whether what’s tying you down is good or bad, you still need to look back occasionally – to smile and remember. We owe our life that much at least.

Oh, the response to the TAG. Here goes.

Last movie seen in a theatre:
Jaane Tu…. Thoda pyaar thoda magic before that which was preceded by Aamir--- yea I watch a lot of movies

What book are you reading?
Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh. Just finished Palace of Illusons by Chitra Bannerjee (the best book I have read in a really long time).

Favourite board game:
Ludo and Snakes and Ladders - Very fond memories with my grandparents and those games!

Favourite magazine:
Readers Digest (I know it’s not technically a magazine but what the hell I love it!)

Favourite smells:
Wet grass and monsoon – happiest memories include watering the garden as a child and playing in the rain

Favourite sound:
“Maasi” – a word and a sound… makes my day!

Worst feeling in the world:
Immobility with fear - prompted by the presence of a dog within 200 meters of me!

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
I am late!!!!

Favourite fast food place:
Elco arcade hill road. Haldirams is also good and of course Mcdonalds!

Future child’s name:
No clue- i know what they are NOT going to be!

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…”
.... be able to figure out what I really want to do in what is now a hypothetical situation

Do you drive fast?
Yes! And now that I am in NCR I actually can!

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Not any more

Storms - Cool or Scary?
Cool

Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Yea- quite like them

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice?
Light brown

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:
Baroda, Ahmedabad, Bombay, Chennai, Calcutta , Mumbai (it was re-christened by then) and now Gurgaon

Favourite sports to watch:
Not a sports person at all

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you:
Gauri – her positive attitude makes me believe dreams can come true

What’s under your bed?
The floor!

Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Yea- if I am guaranteed the same family!

Morning person or night owl?
Night owl.

Over easy or sunny side up?
Somewhere in between

Favourite place to relax:
The sofa by my window in my room

Favourite pie:
Chocolate and lemon meringue ( seperate not mixed together!)

Favourite ice cream flavour:
Chocolate and strawberry

You pass this tag to:
:) The only other blogger I know sent this to me! So the buck stops here I guess!


Hum of the day
A memory is nothing but the emotion that it brings out. To remember is to give the emotion a storage place- to create a reserve to be drawn on when you need it the most.

Wish Upon a Star

In one of the stories in Richard Bach’s Curious Lives, the ferret teacher tells the kindergarten ferrets that each one of us has a star- one unique star that is always there when we look up. She tells them to dream – to listen to the heart and that if you close your eyes, and allow yourself to really access that voice within, you will know what it is that you are meant to do. And when you need a reminder, all you need is to look up at your star and you will know that someone knows your dreams and that will restore your faith – in yourself and your life.

To dream is to seek the ideal and to chase the esoteric- and I used to think that dreaming was the easy part. It was creating that bridge of action towards achieving that dream that created a problem. Off late I find myself in a very unlikely situation. I dreamt the dreams and now I seem to have just stopped. I continue to want things but a fear that they may not be achievable is becoming stronger and more disturbing is the fact that I have begun to question my dreams – to temper them with reality. So it turns out they are not really dreams- more like a mission statement for life. And there is something so clinical about that- so real that it scares me.

There is a concept in most spiritual circles which talks about living in the present – doing things here and now and doing them with all your heart without a thought to either the past or the future. And that, it is believed, will teach you to truly enjoy life. I begun to subscribe to that and live life a day at a time. I stopped planning too much and just – well I just lived. But, I now find, to me that is not really living – it’s more like existing.

The few times these days when I really dream - of the completely child like idea life, it gives me a happy feeling - the stability of living in the present is just a sad compromise. I am talking about that blissful smile that comes with the possibility of a happily ever after, the smile that shows you are a thousand miles away in a world of your own; the smile from the heart that knows things will be perfect.

And when you smile that smile, you know what perfect is – your own perfect. But to even get a small bit of it, you have to be able to see it.

Hum of the Day
Today I wish upon my star – to help me dream the dreams I used to have- for I know, that when the dream is back, the drive to achieve it will surface by itself. My heart knows it – I’m looking for the right ray of light that makes it visible to me again. I looked up. My star smiled down.