Self respect is a strange concept. I have often wondered what exactly it is. Is it being able to look yourself in the eye every morning or is it being able to sleep at night? In my world, these are two events that often do not happen together. I can look myself in the eye almost always – because basic habits and up-bringing ensure that I rarely do things that I will be ashamed of. Sleeping at night, well that’s a function of decisions made and actions taken thereafter. And that determines the respect I have for my decisions. Respect, unfortunately, becomes a relative term.
I remember repeated conversations with my closest friends about how a decision is valid only in a given situation and you make it based on the best information available. Why then is it that it is so difficult for people to forgive themselves for decisions made in the past when new information comes their way. If I acted a certain way, it was because I saw a situation from a certain viewpoint. Today, something moved, and I see something new. Why is it that I berate myself for seeing things the way I did. I did not do anything that was against my self respect – yet, I can’t seem to respect my own decisions and judgment.
Forgiveness is easy. It really is -but only when it pertains to someone else. The reason is that while you can lie to another person, you can’t ever fool yourself. You always know what is irking you. To learn to deceive your own self is an art undiscovered. But to let go, is a tool we use- it’s what I call the out of sight out of mind system. Remember how as a child, you closed your eyes when something unpleasant happened in the hope that because you cant see, no one can see you and it never happened. That carries us through our lives. When you find it the most difficult to deal with, let it go. No right and wrong here. Its just survival – if you can’t control it, there is no limit you can put on it. Let it go and for you it will no longer exist. Life is normal again.
Hum of the day
The great part about life is that time and distance are related concepts. With time, distance is created, with distance peace and with peace, somewhere, forgiveness and respect.
2 comments:
Amen !! Both Deep and honest...and why does it seem like this post was written for me?
It must the consequences of a decision made that keep regret alive.
If one didn't feel strongly about anything then most decisions matter little.
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