Secrets of happiness

It’s strange how so often, the exact words you need to hear, the thoughts you need to listen to and the belief you need restored, are in laid out in a near pile before you eyes. And thankfully, along with all of that, the judgment to absorb all of that is also a part of that pile!

For me, that came as a slow epiphany of sorts in the form of a book called “The Seven Secrets of Happiness” by Sharan Owens (http://booksmyworld.blogspot.com/2010/07/seven-secrets-of-happiness-sharon-owens.html).

I do not even want to look back at what I had become thanks to a lot of changes that I was somehow unable to cope with. I knew I needed to somehow do something about the weird inertia I fell into, but I just did not know how. And there I end up reading the book. And then, I got some really really good news – a hope that had somewhere died. After marriage, I had ignored my old self, and just like that, PM was back in the PMT. 

Anyways, the book details some secrets that the protagonist learns over time. I have now made my own list as well as what I plan to do about things. So here goes:

1. Emotional independence and freedom are vital no matter how many support systems exist in your life. You were, are and will always be “YOU” before you be can be anything to anyone else
2. Being able to look yourself in the eye is the most rudimentary requirement of a peaceful existence within oneself. So be honest. To yourself. That means do things you do not cringe about. Be honest to your commitments; be honest to your work, to your life. To yourself.
3. Acceptance is probably the most powerful tool for temporary peace. It may not be ideal because it may not allow you to move ahead and plan for the future. But sometimes life can be in a deadlock. Acceptance just makes you temporarily steady - which can give strength to move on at a later stage.
4. It’s easy to lay the blame – on yourself and on people around you. But in the end it gets no one anywhere. You make decisions in a given moment based on the circumstances at that time. Blaming anyone – including you, is akin to banging on walls which can’t be broken down.
5. Segregate things which make you unhappy into those which can and cannot be controlled. Focus on those which can be controlled and just go ahead and do what you can to minimize them.
6. Idealism does make the world go round. It is perhaps the single human quality that creates change, which pushes the world to become a better place –one person at a time. But seeing the good in here and now, and realizing that what is happening is the best that can happen in the present situation – perhaps that is what allows for idealism to eventually be implemented.
7. Finding yourself is an overrated concept. There is nothing to find. You are who you are – at any given point. You can’t lose yourself. The self in you as you used to understand it, just changes with time. Re-searching is like looking for something which has already been remolded.
8. The mind and body are both like putty in your own hands. The mind is the ruler. So if you feeling low in any way, just try yelling at that part of yourself and telling it to stop being a baby and whining. It’s possible your mood and energy will both be lifted. It really is mostly all a state of mind.
9. Forgiving yourself is not easy. But no one but you gets hurt each day if you don’t
10. Just because you cannot do that one big thing, is no reason not to take small steps. Small steps or even just moving in the same spot is better than standing still. Because at least you are doing something!
11. Anger and resentment makes you do things you regret, to say things you should not and act in ways you know you should not. It also imprisons you like ‘devils snare” (infamous in Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone). Sometimes, to be free, you just need to relax and let go.
12. Apologize – it’s very powerful.

Hum of the day

I wish I could apologize to the people I have interacted with in this country – for being judgmental, for pointing fingers at other peoples way of life. I am forgiving myself for not being able to live or let live. I am no longer promising anything. I am just going to live. I am going to forgive, and I’m learning to do things which make me happy and allow me to be at peace with myself. I am surrounding myself with happier thoughts, more color, more smiles and more laughter. The bright happy pink of this blog is perhaps step one ;)